20 Jul Why Me Getting Robbed at Gunpoint Is The Same As You Losing Fat
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was 2am, and I couldn’t sleep. Why not walk to the gym?
I’ll tell you why not. I live in Baltimore City. That’s why not.
“Don’t be racist, they’re two fine young gentlemen out for a stroll,” I told myself.
So when they asked me “Yo my nikkuh! Yo wassup?” I politely nodded, grunting “Sup.”
Then I realized exactly what was sup. What’s up was two guys with hoodies and face masks, a gun, and the “request” for me to walk with them.
Look, what I’m going to describe next is hard to put into words. Something tells me you’ll understand, regardless.
Time both sped up and slowed down. I was both innately anxious and surprisingly calm.
I breathed in.
I accepted that the situation was happening, and responded in the most calculated and irrational way I knew how.
“Okay, I have my phone in my right pocket, and wallet in my left. Can I give them to you?”
My question.
“Just walk with us son. Let’s go for a walk.”
Their response.
We walked away from the main street and into an empty parking lot.
I held my hands up and repeated the question. Slightly slower this time.
“Okay, I have my phone in my right pocket my wallet in left pocket. I also have my car keys in my left pocket, and I can give you those as well.”
As I type this out, I realize it wasn’t much of a question. More of a statement. I had no control over the situation — “Guy With Mask #2” held the gun — yet here I was, reconciling reality with my robbers.
I was both the hostage, and the hostage negotiator. Inexplicably detached from what was about to happen next.
Though one thought does remain particularly prominent in my head:
“Are they going to kill me?”
Again, I was the idiot walking alone in Baltimore City at 2am. Across the street from where a guy had been murdered one month earlier (my mom will kill me when she reads this).
The next thought also remains particularly prominent:
“Maybe.”
In that instant, I recognized the fact that I might die, and was at peace with that fact. I was simply exploring the space in-between the gun and my life. Genuinely curious as to whether there was another option.
So look, here’s the thing about fat loss…
Smooth, right ? 😉
My point in writing this, other than my obvious need to come to terms with the event, is that shit happens.
You might not like the phrase “shit happens”.
You might object to me swearing in this blog post.
That’s okay. It doesn’t make the sentiment any less true. And both of us have to live with that.
We experience both ends of polar opposite ideas at every second, and it’s excruciating.
I couldn’t come to peace with the fact that I might get shot… without accepting the fact that I might get shot.
So… I accepted that I might get shot. July 20, 2017 was possibly going to be my last day. Bullet to the chest was a possibility.
Cool.
What next?
That question — “What next?” — is what saved my life. Because the question was based on an accepted reality.
So I lived.
Reality was they wanted money and control. I gave them both. We both parted ways, neither of us terribly hurt.
Okay, I was pretty shaken up, but hey, maybe so were they? (Maybe it was their first robbery?)
Back to fat loss:
You are me.
The robber is your cookie.
Let that sink in.
You have to accept that the cookie exists. You don’t have to accept your desire for it.
Do you really want to eat that cookie?
Steve, a client and friend, asked that question last night. His “cookie” was homemade pasta alfredo.
The answer was yes. So he ate it.
But guess what? He still dropped 1.1 lbs this past week.
How?
Because Steve asks that question all the time. The answer was yes then, so he ate it. The answer was no every other day of the week, so he didn’t.
He’s honest with himself. He accepts reality. That’s why he wins. Week after week, the pounds keep shedding. Seemingly effortlessly. It’s impressive to watch, especially as a coach.
You can’t overcome a craving… until you recognize what you’re truly craving. All of it. In all of its complexity and stupidity.
So next challenge you face, be it with fat loss or life, accept its existence.
Recognize Arnold telling you to put that cookie down …
… whilst also recognizing this model who was born to eat cookies from a bird’s eye view.
Once you’ve faced both fears, you’ll realize how silly it was to be afraid.
You’ll laugh at the screaming bodybuilding governor. You’ll laugh at the girl who genuinely believes “OMG! Cookies = LIFE!”
Then the three of you can have a laugh, and part ways.
That’s how to overcome temptation.
That’s how to overcome your fears.
That’s how to put the cookie down.
That’s how to negotiate yourself out of your own hostage situation.
That’s how to lose fat.
That’s how to live!
