04 Feb How do I get my significant other to embrace fitness?

Question: How can I get my girlfriend / boyfriend to embrace fitness?

We know this for sure: If your significant other starts a lifestyle change solely to satisfy you, she’ll have a high probability of failure.

“True change comes from within.”

It’s a trite saying that proves its worth every day in the real world:

Look. I believe that people can change. I really do. But only when they truly want to.

That’s why when a wife contacts us to sign up her husband for personal training (or vice-versa), I turn them down. It’s a waste of time and money for everyone involved.

Sure, it’d be easy enough for me to swipe the credit card and allow this significant other to “be enrolled” in their fitness program. The justifications would be easy, too:

“Well, this fitness program will be good for him. Even if he doesn’t see it now. We’re doing him a favor by pushing him to start training, aren’t we?”

Meh.

That’s just not my philosophy with personal training — or with fitness in general for that matter. I don’t pretend to know what’s best for anyone else.

I’m a coach, not a preacher.

Don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe that a regimented fitness plan can give almost anyone a superhero-like edge in their daily lives (I’ve seen it with thousands of Fit2Go clients). But only the individual can decide if the effort (PT sessions, scheduled workouts, changing nutrition habits) is worth the reward.

So I have a firm policy that if someone wants to start personal training with us, he/she needs to reach out to us directly. We need to know his goals, his priorities, his challenges — and we need to hear it in his own words.

Then, with an understanding of the person’s true motivations, we can design a fitness program that will be effective for his goals, but also realistic for his life.

So, with that in mind, I wouldn’t recommend trying to convince your significant other to start a fitness program. It just won’t have the effect you want.

However, if your significant other is actively expressing interest in discussing her fitness goals with you, the best thing you can do is help them uncover their true underlying motivation. Their deep “why”.

Try a little motivational interviewing. Naturally, you’ll want to jump in with your own advice, but keep in mind that you’re riding shotgun and they are in the driver’s seat. So let them answer freely and honestly.

The conversation might go a little something like this:

You: “So what exactly is your fitness goal?”

Her: “I think I want to lose 10 lbs.”

You: “What will be different when you lose 10 lbs?”

Her: “Well, I just want to fit better in my clothes. I’ll feel happier with my body.”

You: “How will feeling happier with your body affect the other areas of your life?”

Her: “Truthfully, every morning when I get dressed, I notice how tight my clothes are and it bothers me. It’s affected my self-confidence and I find myself shying away from taking social and career opportunities that I’d jump at if I felt better about myself.”

You: “Bingo — that’s it. So this fitness program is really about living up to your full potential and getting the most out of your life. Ready to make a plan?”

Your girlfriend may have a completely different reason, but if you help her through this process of figuring out why fitness actually matters in her life, she’ll be much more open to “embracing the fit life” as you say. 🙂

But remember, it’s her life and her decision!

Stay busy. Stay fit.

-Coach Dani

P.S. Want to start your own personal training program, but hate the gym? Our nationally certified trainers come to YOU!

Schedule your call with me here so we can discuss your fitness goals and make a plan — together.